pet loss

Feelings and stuff

A couple of weeks ago, my fiancé and I spent an obscene amount of money to try and save his daughter’s cat. We drained our wedding fund to pay for the emergency vet care that she needed in an attempt to save her, plus additional savings.

Sadly, she did not make it. Several days after we brought her home, her health went downhill quick, and we had to let her go to end her suffering.

I do not, and never will, regret spending the money we did to try and save our cat. Not a single part of me regrets that because this cat was worth it. She was family, and you do whatever you can to help your family members, especially the helpless furry ones.

While it does sting that I don’t have the wedding fund anymore AND I didn’t get to save the cat, I will always know that I did everything I could to give her a couple of years. It definitely stings that I’m out that money and there’s no big-nosed tabby cat roaming my house. If we had been able to save her, then the financial hit would sting less.

Whenever I think about that sting, though, I remind myself that we had to try and save her. We did, and that helps with the emotions associated with losing a beloved pet. I know that if the vet told me there was something they could have done to potentially give Boomer another year or two, I would have drained my life savings to keep her with me.

I miss this kitty. (Yes, she was 15 years old when she died but she was always a kitty to me.) She would make “tha-thump, tha-thump” noises when she came down the stairs to see what the fiancé and I were doing. She absolutely loved hopping on the coffee table to clean every single nook and cranny on her body. Even though the slorrrping sounds she made were disgusting, I miss that and wish I could hear it again.

The kitty definitely established herself as Top Pet when she moved here, much to Mal’s lament. Mal had about a six-month period between Boomer passing and the fiancé and the kitty moving into the home. Mal is a nervous dog, so I was initially nervous myself that there would be cat and dog fights. Nervous dogs like Mal could be unpredictable if they feel threatened, so those first weeks were nerve-wracking.

What ended up happening was Mal going “nope I’m outta here” whenever the kitty got close to her. Pretty sure Mal never made eye-contact with the cat or if she did, the eye-contact was minimal. I did catch the two of them hanging out together a couple of times, but as soon as they realized I was watching them, Mal did what she does so well – “noping” the hell out of the room.

One day, we will figure out what to do for the wedding fund. It’s not like he and I are going to have a wedding wedding or a wedding with a capital W. This was more for a reception for family and friends after he and elope somewhere and sometime (details I would never discuss openly or online, btw).

She was a good kitty, and she will be so missed.

My Broken Heart

It’s been a whole week since I had the vet put my beloved Boomer dog down. I have cried and sobbed so much that I’m convinced I have run out of tears.

Boomer followed me every where. If I was outside doing yard work, Boomer was also outside. If I was inside but her sister Mal was also outside, Boomer would be inside with me. She would keep me company in my office as I worked from home, and Boomer slept on her bed in my bedroom. It broke my heart last year when I had to ban her from going up and down the stairs because she had way too many trip and falls.

Boomer was also a very talkative dog. She barked allllll the time, even when I wanted her to stop. If she was frustrated, she barked. If she wanted my attention, she barked. If she wanted me to play with her and her stuffies, she barked. I could not have picked a more appropriate name for her.

I also didn’t realize how much I talked to Boomer every day or sing absolute unhinged songs about her to her. I would hold full conversations with her about how much I loved her, her silliness, or my day. Now, it is just so quiet in my house. Boomer’s sister is not vocal inside the house (just outside the house).

Even when I kicked my no-good, cheating ex out of my house, I never felt alone because I had Boomer. She was always by my side.

I used to think my past breakups were heartbreaking. They pale in comparison to losing my heart dog. You get over breakup, especially. I will never get over losing Boomer. I still look for her every day. She was my purpose in life when I had none. She gave me a reason to get up when I wanted to stay laying down. She saved me time and time again.

Until we meet again, Boomer. I hope Mom was greeting you at the Rainbow Bridge, and Aunt Maggie (aka the Beags) also met you at the entrance. I loved you every day of your life, and I will love you for the rest of mine. Death can’t and won’t change that.

Boomer TheDog Huffman (2010 – 2024)

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the passing of the most beloved dog, Boomer TheDog Huffman (aka Boomer T Dog, Boomie, Boomerlicious, Boom Boom). Boomer is survived by her heart-broken mother, Lara, and her sister, Mal, who is probably happy that she is now an only dog. Her mom, however, is devastated, and will forever have a Boomer-shaped hole in her heart.

Boomer enjoyed de-squeaking and de-fluffing toys, playing keep-away because nothing made her happier than having a toy she thought YOU wanted, modeling for her photographer Mom, patrolling her backyard with her sister, and making sure nobody had fun without her present (aka the Fun Police).

Boomer wasn’t just any ordinary dog. She was a life saver. Boomer was a Christmas gift to her Mom from her now Ex. Boomer arrived in her Mom’s life when she was going through treatment for Stage 1 breast cancer and thyroid cancer. She kept her Mom company during chemotherapy, radiation, and multiple surgeries. There were many naps together.

After treatment ended for Stage 1 breast cancer, her Mom ended up suffering from debilitating depression. Boomer was her Mom’s anchor when life seemed hopeless and void of any happiness. When her Mom finally sought help, a therapist asked her what’s kept her from making a plan, the response was: “Boomer. I have to stick around for Boomer.” When nothing in life seemed worth living, her Mom had Boomer. 

Boomer’s greatest love was people. She absolutely loved everybody and everyone. Boomer had many honorary aunties who loved her fiercely. She never met another human being that she didn’t immediately love. Not once was she ever scared of going to the vet because all the vets and vet techs were her BFFs.

Her Mom is going to miss her dog shadow and canine garbage disposal when she cooked. Boomer loved cucumbers, bell peppers, bananas, everything. She was part lab, after all. She was the Goodest girl, the best. The fact that a large breed dog like Boomer made it to 13 is amazing and for that, her Mom will always be grateful but still believe there should have been more time.

If you feel inclined to honor Boomer, please make a donation to Senior Pet and Animal Rescue, a local non-profit in Pittsburgh dedicated to helping senior pets.

Until we meet again, Boomer. I will be running full speed toward you and Mom when it’s my time. My heart is broken.