Month: December 2022

Good-bye 2022

As 2022 comes to an end, I want to reflect back on what was a pretty transformative year for me. To my surprise and probably everyone else who knows me, I am ending this year in such a great mind space.

The biggest highlight for 2022 – my cancer has been stable, and I remain unremarkable. That is absolutely my number one highlight. If I can go a whole year without any surgeries and/or progression, then that’s a big win in my book. I have seen the struggles that my friends who also have stage 4 have gone through in 2022, so I remain grateful and appreciative that I have been okay this year.

I probably do need to get a cane to help me walk in certain situations because concrete surfaces make my back hurt and ache. It took me awhile to come to terms with that fact, but I got over it. Who cares if I need a mobility aid to walk long distances on concrete? My other option is to just stay home, and I don’t care to do that. I want to keep moving, and I should not let my weird pride get in the way.

I had a handful of big wins at work this year. I really enjoy figuring things out and working with data. I participated in an initiative this year that focused on data analytics. Because of the work done in 2022, I am confident that an audit I have kicking off on Jan 3 will go as smoothly as possible. I have big plans for 2023 because your gal here is gunning for a promotion. I know when I go back to work next week, my life is going to get super hectic so I’m just enjoying this week off (aka calm before the storm).

The transformative part of my year happened during the later half of the year. I really thought my ex dumping me was going to destroy me. We had been together for 6 years, and I really didn’t have any issues with him like I did the ex before him. He didn’t gaslight me or cheat on me with prostitutes and Sugar Baby websites like the Other Guy did. The breakup did negatively impact me and that period afterwards was absolutely brutal. I rebounded though, and I came through it stronger.

You know how and why I came through it stronger? Easy – supportive friends and years of therapy, baby. (Plus, I blocked him on all social media because once I’m done, I am 100 percent done.) I credit therapy with helping me quickly realize I needed to channel my feelings into something productive, and I did. I went back to the gym a month ago. More importantly, I’ve been cooking more in these last four months than I probably have in the last four years. I fucking love it, and I am having so much fun learning new techniques. These wins in the kitchen have done so much for my self-esteem and self-worth.

I am not hopeless. I am not a lost cause!

2022 has ended on such a high note. I’ve met a new man, and he makes me so ridiculously happy. I’ve been grinning so much in the last month or so that sometimes my face hurts from smiling so much. I am looking forward to what adventures await him and I in the new year.

Every year, my new year’s resolution is the same – Read More Books. This year, I’m going to add a new one – have more fun with Boyfriend (name redacted) in 2023. I’ll be successful.

Progress Report

In my effort to get up swinging again (see what I did there), I joined a local gym several weeks ago that offers personal training for an additional cost. I had heard from a friend who joined the gym already that a personal trainer I worked with previously now worked at this gym. I saw Anthony for personal training pre-Covid and pre-Stage 4 diagnosis. Every week, he would kick my ass during these sessions. I would leave the trainer appointment just an absolute sweaty mess and legs that felt like they were jelly.

Even though I am immuno-compromised, I decided to join the gym for a couple of reasons: 1) I am fully vaccinated, 2) When I do go to the gym, I go in the morning when there’s not that many people there, and 3) I needed to make a change when it came to my health and throwing down hard-earned money gets my butt in the gym.

I see Anthony twice a week for 30 minutes in the early morning. Right now, he has me doing high-intensity interval training just to get me back in the swing of things. I jokingly called these sessions my training wheels, but honestly, that’s a good descriptor. I’m a create of habit (both good and bad), so these sessions every week will get me back in a good routine. Also, given that the weather is shitty now and I’m not hiking on the weekends anymore, these sessions will also ensure I do not fall back on my sedentary ways.

Not going to lie, though. Getting back into a physical routine like this is not easy. I am carrying 30+ pounds more on my frame, and I have zero upper body strength anymore. Thanks to hiking, I still have pretty impressive quads, but the upper half of my body – no strength. I keep reminding myself that I’ve had to start over again before. I can do it again… maybe. Haha.