health

Huffman sometimes rules

Yesterday, I completed something that I honestly did not think I would be able to do. I finished the Two Face 10K race event in North Park. I haven’t run consistently since 2021, which is when I switched over to just hiking.

However, my five-year mark is coming up on October 2, and I felt like I had something to prove to myself. Honestly, I wanted to really tell stage four breast cancer to fuck all the way off. I still do. The five year mark is a really big deal to me. I know so many of my stage 4 breast cancer patients who never got to see their five year mark.

I didn’t really tell anyone I was doing this until it was closer to the race for a couple of reasons. If I didn’t manage to complete this, I didn’t want everyone to know that I tried this and failed. I also didn’t want anyone to leave comments for me saying I’m inspirational or brave, something like that. Because I’m not inspirational or brave.

I’m pigheaded.

My stomach had been really plaguing me the weeks leading to the race. The day before the race, I had gone to urgent care due to extreme GI problems. I truly did not think I would be able to do this race. What really got me to the finish line (literally) was a good friend of mine signed up for the race, so we would do it together. Plus, the weather was actually nice and cool the other day. I had been training for months in just high heat and humidity, so this weather felt magical.

I don’t think I could have done this without my friend there along the way. When we started the second half of the race, the trail portion, I wiped out and fell. Luckily, it wasn’t a bad fall and just caused some superficial scrapes on the side of my leg. Nothing bad, thankfully.

The 10K trail race actually was almost 7.5 miles, which I was not aware of prior to race day. Haha. I fought like absolutely hell all those 7 miles. There were curse words, and more importantly, it was quality spent with my good friend as we battled together.

When her and I crossed the finish line, I had a group of friends and my fiancee cheering so loudly for me. It was a pretty amazing moment for me. My friends, who had already finished the race, waited for me! I did find out later that at one point, they were wondering if I had maybe gotten eaten by a bear. Honestly, that’s fair. We were supposed to keep a 20 minute pace but ended up being a 23 minute pace.

I did it, though. I finished both races, even though I really didn’t think I could do it.

My five-year mark is now less than two months away, and I got to send a giant fuck you to metastatic breast cancer. Cancer has taken so fucking much from me, but yesterday, I was able to take a swing back at cancer.

I Trust Dr. Pepper More than Dr. Oz

Dr. Mehmet Oz, charlatan extraordinaire, was sworn in as Trump’s administrator for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) on April 18, 2025. As a stage 4 cancer patient who may need the services of Medicare and/or Medicaid sooner than later, I am both scared and angry that this quack has been appointed to one of the most extremely positions in the country. I am 100 percent certain that Dr. Oz is going to do irreparable harm to those who rely on Medicaid and Medicare.

First of all, what does CMS do? According to the Federal Register,

The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) was created to administer oversight of the Medicare Program and the federal portion of the Medicaid Program. It also ensures that program beneficiaries are aware of the services for which they are eligible and that those services are accessible and of high quality and develops health and safety standards for providers of health care services authorized by Medicare and Medicaid legislation. CMS is also responsible for administering the State Children’s Health Insurance Program (SCHIP), the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), and several other health-related programs.

It is not an exaggeration to say that this is a very important role in the country, and now it’s being led by … Dr. Freaking Oz. These are the enrollment numbers for Medicaid and CHIP as of November 2024:

During his confirmation hearing, Dr. Oz would not say yes or no if he opposed cuts to Medicaid, according to a March 14, 2025 article in The New Republic.

If you are reading this and wondering why do I care or thinking I just hate him because he is a Trump ally, then let me provide you my reasoning why.

A June 17, 20214 NBC News article stated that Dr. Oz “got a harsh scolding from several senators on Tuesday at a hearing about bogus diet product ads. According to the article, Dr. Oz “admitted he uses ‘flowery’ language on his shows and said he realizes that the moment he recommends a product, the scammers use his words to sell spurious products.” In April 2012, Dr. Oz had touted a green coffee bean extract as a “miracle fat burning pill that works for everyone.”

According to an April 15, 2017 NPR article entitled “Physicians Urge Columbia To Fire Dr. Oz For Promoting ‘Quack Treatments,'” 10 well-regarded physicians in the country called for Columbia to fire Dr. Oz for “repeatedly show[ing] disdain for science and for evidence-based medicine” and “promot[ing] quack treatments for financial gain.”

During Covid, Dr. Oz’s quackery became evident to everyone. HuffPost reported in an April 16, 2020 article that schools should re-open because “only” 2 to 3% more people could die. Dr. Oz told Sean Hannity:

That’s right – a doctor thought it would be okay to sacrifice a percentage of the population. That’s when I realized that Dr. Oz isn’t just a quack, he is a eugenicist.

After he was sworn in, Dr. Oz gave a press conference about his plan and vision for healthcare in the country, and it was textbook eugenics.

“It is your patriotic duty — I’ll say it again — the patriotic duty of all Americans to take care of themselves. It’s important for serving in the military but also important because healthy people don’t consume healthcare resources. The best way to reduce drug spending is to use less drugs, because you don’t need them because you’re healthy.”

It is my “patriotic duty” to take care of myself and when that happens, I won’t need as many drugs because I’m now “healthy.” Holy shit, my stage 4 cancer is cured!

Sarcasm aside, this line of thinking from Dr. Oz is absolutely insidious. By equating good health with “patriotism” and military readiness, us sickies would then be… what? Unpatriotic? If you classify a group of people as being unpatriotic or imply that they are a drain to society, then you can easily justify inflicting pain and suffering on them.

Sick and disabled people are always targets for fascist authoritarian regimes. According to the Holocaust Encyclopedia, “Many Germans did not want to be reminded of individuals who did not measure up to their concept of a ‘master race’ and were considered ‘unfit’ or ‘handicapped.’ People with physical and mental disabilities were viewed as ‘useless’ to society, a threat to Aryan genetic purity, and, ultimately, ‘unworthy of life.'”

Dr. Oz’s statement equates good health with being good Americans and a “good” American is one that can join the military and be ready to die for the country. Both Dr. Oz and Secretary Brainworms keep flapping their mouths about unhealthy Americans but notice how they don’t mention expanding Medicaid to ensure more citizens have access to doctors and perhaps get treated for their ailments or ensuring everyone in the country has access to healthy fruits and vegetables.

They want to take away medications, programs and services, all while blaming us sickies for our own illness. The Trump administration does not care if sick and disabled people die, only that the richest among us stay obscenely rich as possible.

Being a Cancer Patient in the age of Trump

Ever since Trump was inaugurated, every day, I wake up and wonder, “What fresh hell has the Trump administration unleashed on us today?” Every day, I get an answer to that question, and my stress level just keeps going up and up.

When RFK Jr. was actually confirmed as Secretary of Health and Human Services, I really thought to myself, “We are so fucked. Us sick and disabled people are so fucked.” The government really elected the stupidest mother fucker to make health-based decisions that impacts everyone in this country. For an administration that allegedly is all about “merit-based” hiring, the Trump administration really elevated a brain-wormed, anti-scientist charlatan.

The fact that an anti-vaccine, conspiracy theorist is in charge of the FDA and CDC makes me even more resolute that rich white men will always fall upwards. Would he ever be in this position if his last name was not Kennedy?

According to an April 12, 2025 article in The Hill, measles cases have risen to 700 and the outbreak has spread to 25 states. ProPublica reported on April 11, 2025 that pertussis has increased 1500% nationwide in the country. The article further stated:

The Trump administration has eliminated 20,000 jobs at agencies within HHS, which includes the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the nation’s public health agency. And late last month, the administration also cut $11 billion from state and local public health agencies on the front lines of protecting Americans from outbreaks; the administration said the money was no longer necessary after the end of the pandemic.

Gee, what could potentially go wrong when you cut jobs and money from the nation’s public health agency when diseases like this are on the rise?

In his first interview since becoming HHS, Secretary Brainworms claimed in a CBS interview that he was not aware of the $11 billion in proposed cuts to local and state programs that address infectious disease, mental health, etc., his response was, “No I’m not familiar with those cuts. We’d have to go … the cuts were mainly DEI cuts, which the president ordered.”

The reporter then provided Secretary Brainworms with an example of being eliminated, which was a $750K University of Michigan grant focused on adolescent diabetes, and RFK Jr said that he would look into it.

This administration is a fucking joke, and we are being led by a bunch of Trump kiss asses and sycophants. I get to wake up every day, as an immunosuppressed woman with Stage 4, wondering what disease and potential pandemic is just waiting around the corner. The thing that really makes me angry as all hell is the fact that you know that this administration does not give a single flying fuck about sick and disabled people.

Did you know that last month, the Trump administration withdrew 11 pieces of guidance related to the ADA that helped stores, hotels and other businesses understand their obligation to the law? According to the Yahoo article, one of the pieces of guidance withdrawn was a “document provided a ‘maintenance list’ for retail stores for ensuring aisles, entrances, parking spaces, elevators and restrooms were accessible for disabled customers.”

On April 1, 2025, NPR reported how that Trump administration also dismantled the agency that is responsible for Meals on Wheels and other services for the disabled and elderly. Trump and his rich billionaires do not care if the elderly or disabled die due to their budget cuts.

This is just a fraction of the horror that Secretary Brainworms and Trump are inflicting on the U.S. They do not want to lead or help people. They want to make sure the rich get richer, and us peons go away as quietly as possible. The fact that family members of mine, even my own dad, voted for this train wreck blows my mind. Is making America great again mean bringing back preventable diseases?

Maybe Secretary Brainworms will make my cancer treatment illegal and force me to inject ivermectin? Who knows when we now live in Idiocracy.

Ignorance is not Bliss

Look at this gem I came across Facebook awhile ago courtesy of Live Love Fruit, and I came the closest I have ever to that elusive rage stroke.  (It’ll happen, my friends.  It.  Will.  Happen.)

Natural Cancer Treatments

One of the many infuriating things about this graphic, disguised as health advice, is the fact that cancer isn’t just one disease.  My breast cancer isn’t the same as the skin cancer that my dad had a handful of years ago.  Hell, my breast cancer isn’t even like my friend N’s breast cancer (estrogen positive versus Her-2 positive).  When these healthy living proselytizers start sticking their heads into serious, life and death, topics they know nothing about, that’s when my blood pressure wants to reach meteoric heights.

(Also, if you learn to love, you’ll prevent cancer?  Seriously, what the actual fuck?  So if you’re shooting figurative rainbows out your eyes and pooping bouquet of roses, you’ll  prevent cancer?  Oi.  The stupid is strong with this one.)

Cancer, according to the National Cancer Institute, is defined as: “a term used for abnormal cells divide without control and are able to invade other tissues.  Cancer cells can be spread to other parts of the body through the blood and lymph systems.  Cancer is not just one disease but many diseases. There are more than 100 different types of cancer. Most cancers are named for the organ or type of cell in which they start – for example, cancer that begins in the colon is called colon cancer; cancer that begins in melanocytes of the skin is called melanoma.”

When I see graphics like this one, my first thought: what cancer are we talking about, ye ole wise Internet oncologists?  Hmm, are we talking about carcinomas, sarcomas, leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma, or central nervous system cancers?  Tell me, lady who juices and who believes Dr. Mercola is the best thing to happen to the Internet since cat videos, what cancer are you talking about?  While we are at it, please show me all your diplomas from all the medical schools you attended.

I did a quick search for natural treatments to see just how effective they are.  Here’s an abstract for a study entitled: “Alternative Therapy Used as Primary Treatment for Breast Cancer Negatively Impacts Outcomes.”  Another study: “Effect of complementary and alternative medicine on the survival and health-related quality of life among terminally ill cancer patients: a prospective cohort study.”  There are more studies out there, and this should go without saying for anyone diagnosed with cancer: discuss health plans with your team of doctors and for the love of pete, don’t take advice from people on the Internet.

I am not against alternative treatments in general.  Not at all.  I am against alternative treatments being used in place of  the standard and tried-and-true treatments.  I have heard and read that yoga, acupuncture, things of that nature, have helped loads in dealing with symptoms from treatment.  I wholeheartedly believe those who are sick and want to try different ways to lessen their pain should try to find whatever works, and I hope you are successful.

The other main issue I take with the above graphic is the use of  “prevention.”  You can’t prevent cancer.  You know what you can do, though?  You can  reduce your risk of certain cancers.  When these Internet oncologists (who, I presume, received their Internet degree after successfully completing the course: “I read one article, and now I’m an expert”) throw around the word prevent, they perpetuate the false notion that if you just follow the Healthy Living Rules, you’ll never be sick.

A very gifted blogger, Stacey, explained exactly why the distinction of “prevention vs. risk reduction vs. screening” needs to be made in this fantastic CoffeeMommy blog post:

Why is the terminology distinction important? Three reason bubble to the top for me:

Continued Diligence: Individuals must remain diligent in personal and professional screening even when they “do everything right” on the risk reduction list. Mammograms don’t “Save the ta-tas” they simply alert people as to whether or not their breasts are trying to kill them. I can personally attest to the fact that people who follow all the published rules for how to prevent breast cancer, and get a mammogram at 40, still get breast cancer.

Removing Stigma and Eradicating Blame & Shame: According to anecdotal data, the most common question lung cancer patients field is, “How long did you smoke?” If you advertise risk reduction as prevention you are perpetuating a falsehood. Perpetuating the idea that cancers are preventable implies that, when a diagnosis is given, somebody did something WRONG.

Redirecting Research Focus: While a list of ways to reduce risk for disease is helpful, such a list is not a magic bullet. Already genomic research is leading to personalized treatments. We need to expand efforts in this area. When the general public finally realizes that no one is “immune” to a cancer diagnosis, more focus can be applied in the appropriate areas.

 

Actors who are in the best shapes of their lives are diagnosed with cancer and die.  Athletes get cancer.  Never-Smokers get lung cancer and die.  Vegetarians also get cancer.    Oftentimes biology and/or environmental factors are too big of obstacles for a healthy lifestyle to shield you from anything bad, and you can get sick.  You cannot prevent cancer.  You can reduce your risk.   I am sorry to burst any bubble, but bad things can happen to good people, including healthy people.

Oftentimes you see these graphics, like the one above, being shared and posted by those who have never had cancer or faced any medical hardship (as a result of that, they seem to think they have the human body all figured out).  Frankly, I think it’s irresponsible and downright dangerous to be advocating for a “natural cancer treatment” when it’s not YOUR life at stake.  People have said to me, “Man, I don’t know if I could do chemo if I had cancer.  That just seems really drastic, all that poison.”

santana

My response: “Oh yeah, total poison.  Nothing good or easy about it, but man, when the doctor told me I had breast cancer, I couldn’t get hooked up to that IV quick enough.”  Let’s make a deal, internet oncologists.  If YOU come down with cancer, then you should try the natural cancer treatments, and report on how that worked out for you.  In the meantime, I’m going to listen to those in the medical field who actually do know what they are talking about.

You also see a lot of this line of thinking in social media land after you have become a sickie:

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To the folks who subscribe to this paranoid Big Brother attitude, I applaud you for the privilege of not ever having been sick and needing medicine to actually stay alive or to function.  I’m not exaggerating either – needing real medicine, and not some essential oil or some fruit that people in South America supposedly do instead of chemo, to stay alive.  It must be nice.  If it wasn’t for big Pharma, I’d either have advanced disease or I’d be dead.  Who knows?  I wouldn’t be living a No Evidence of Disease life right now, and I certainly wouldn’t have run a half marathon not even a month ago.  If this makes me a so-called Big Pharma pawn or whatever it is that these theorists think I am, so be it.  I know I’ll rest easy tonight.

Half marathon…. check

I did it.  I freaking did it.

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Pre-race selfie and post-race selfie

 

I ran 13.1 miles today, and I didn’t stop to walk.  (I did stop for water breaks, but I’m not counting that.)  I’ve been training for this day for months, basically since last October.  This time last year, I was still recovering from five surgeries over the period of two years.  I was 10 to 15 pounds heavier, and I lacked direction.  I didn’t know how to change my life and bounce back from all the crap done to me during breast cancer.  I hated what cancer had done to me physically with all my scars, weight gain and the reconstruction.

I’m now in the best freaking shape of my life.  I have never looked and felt like this, even before cancer.  I have a feeling of purpose with running.  During all my treatment, I remember how absurd it felt to hear people say to me, “Oh, you’re so strong.  You’re a fighter.”  That always struck me as odd because I had never felt so physically weak and just beat up.  Like, seriously, who was I fighting and winning?  Cancer treatment puts the patient in a very passive role.  I didn’t do anything – rather, treatment was done to me.

I feel strong now, and I have realized that I’m not strong nor was I ever strong because I had cancer.  I am now strong even though I had cancer.

During the last three or four miles of the race today, I actually started getting flashbacks to my time in the chemo ward.  I could see myself in the chair, looking out at the other patient.  I remembered that feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.  I’d snap out of that flashback and just ran harder.  Then I flashed to my hospitalization after my double mastectomy, and how much pain I felt.  I’d snap out of that, too, and ran harder.  It was like Runner Lara was running like hell away from Sick Lara, like I am finally able to put that period of life behind me (knowing damn well that it can always come back).

Nothing I can do will prevent breast cancer from ever coming back, either local or distant.  What I do today, like putting on a pair of shoes and running, is what i can do.  That’s the only control I have – this very moment.

This race was such a huge deal to me.  It was to see if I could even do it and a big fuck you to cancer.  Now it’s done and in the (Lara) record books, it’s time to move on.  I’m definitely not cancer girl anymore.

I am a runner.

Get Up Running – Marjie

Welcome to the inaugural post for what I hope can become an inspirational series about running during and/or after cancer – Get Up Running.  This should go without saying but if you’re recovering from cancer and want to start running, clear everything with your doctors beforehand.

My first friend to respond to my inquiry was Marjie from Pink and Pearls.  This woman has the kindest soul I have ever encountered, and I am so privileged to count her as a friend.

Name: Marjorie Miller

finish

Type of cancer & your treatment: 

Breast cancer; surgery (I also had childhood Leukemia at the age of 12, and for that, three years of chemotherapy).

Were you a runner before cancer or any other sports before cancer?

I ran my first 5K literally the same day I found a breast lump. (race that morning, found the lump in the shower that afternoon). I started running a few months before diagnosis, but was never a runner before cancer.

Did you run during treatment? If no, how long after treatment ended did you take up running?

Yes, I tried to run in between surgeries. I had six total surgeries, including a double mastectomy with reconstruction and lat flap. After each surgery when I got the go-ahead from my doctor to resume physical activity, I attempted to run again. It didn’t always happen with the expanders but I tried.

How has running helped you during and/or after treatment, both physically and mentally?

Mentally it helps me feel like I have control over my body again. It helps me feel in control of my health and my life. Breast cancer took my breasts but it can’t take what I do with my body, which is running. When I run it’s just me and my body; I have complete control. I take myself as far as I want. I push myself as much as I can. Nobody else gets a say when I lace up my sneakers. Physically it’s made me stronger and healthier. It gives me so much self confidence. It gives me energy, helps me deal with stress and anxiety, and I feel it keeps me sane 😉

What did your doctor/doctors say about you running?

They applaud it and encourage it.

What has big your biggest challenge running after cancer?

Being comfortable with the implants. My chest still feels tight and I am still regaining muscles under my chest wall. Running sometimes hurts and pulls at my chest.

What would you say to someone ending treatment or just out of treatment who might be intimidated to take up running?

Take it slowly. Take it one day at a time. Start with what YOU feel comfortable doing. Remember: when you run, you run for you and nobody else. My husband said to me before my first 10 miler a few weeks ago: “Just run YOUR race.”

You’re only running for yourself. Not to impress anyone else. Start with walking, slow jogging, taking breaks, whatever you need. You’ll find with time your energy and stamina will grow. Your confidence will grow. It does get easier and the more you do it, the more you love it.

Run happy!

run

11 Miles

On Sunday, I accomplished something I never thought I could do – I ran 11 miles in two hours and three minutes.  When I began Fleet Feet’s No Boundaries program last July, I wasn’t even sure if I could run a 5K.  I thought to myself, “Okay, you signed up.  That’s the first step.”  I ran the Pittsburgh’s Great Race 5K in 31 minutes, and I was so proud of myself afterward.  When I saw that Fleet Feet was offering a training program for either the half marathon or full marathon, I hemmed and hawed about it for days.

No way I can run 13.1 miles.  You are out of your damn mind.

After I shook those “I can’t” thoughts out of my head, I signed up for the training group, and I have no idea why I ever thought I couldn’t do this.  Now that I have an 11 mile run under my belt, I know that I can run the Pittsburgh Half Marathon this May 4.  I am going to do it.  Even more so, I am going to run the Pittsburgh Half in two hours.  That’s my goal.  Whether or not I meet that goal, I’m going to be proud that I crossed that finish line.

Cancer is something that my body does.  Running is something I choose to do.

When I cross that finish line in just over a month, I hope my mother is looking down from wherever she is, shouting, “HUFFMAN RULES.”